Posts tagged ever

Well, how do I put it. For seven years I Have woken up everyday to me Asking myself “What am I going to do today to make it special and worth while?” and everyday I can not think of a thing. I Have struggled to find Things worth doing with my life and I Have finally got to a point where i honestly say I Can No Longer care about my life. Is That odd, not to care about your Own Life? I mean, if I were hit by To Be a bus tomorrow and I Knew That Was Going to Happen I would not see anything wrong with That. I mean, I do not do anything suicidal (Though not Through Lack of thinking or Attempting) goal Every Time I Had I done Always Pulled away at the last second and Selfishness Because the guilt of my actions WAS too horrific. However, I feel burdened by No Longer That pressure. Recently I Have Been Told That I Am Nothing But a burden on my family and everyone in my family resents me. I can not stand my GF and she can not stand me so That suits me fine, I guess I just do not mind Being Used as a punching bag Any More. It’s odd, living a life Where all you try to help people DO IS you end up Being The One That Gives up on everything. I guess that’s what I’m getting at in a roundabout way, I just want to give up on everything. Suicide Seems so. . . fickle and cowardly purpose I can not stand my life Either. So where do I go from this. I do not care about work, I do not care about my family, I do not care about my GF and I do not care about my well being. I Contribute nothing to society except Being a punching bag for Those in Need of Someone to scream at. So Why Should I get up tomorrow? I am not Religious, I Have Tried To Be though. My mind is too rational to accept the idea of ??religion HAS Which led me to hate my own intelligence and logical reasoning. Not that I’m Saying That Religion Is Not A Good Thing, it’s just I cannot accept myself That. So please do not spill out all the lines of Religious Reasons to live. Because Frankly, Even If I Was to Go to Hell Would not it phase me one bit. Frankly I am Asking So, Why Should I get up tomorrow if all I DO IS ruin everything for everyone else? If you cannot come to Any Reason, please, can anyone give me a cowardly way to (without fail) get myself out of this misery, and II have created for myself. Thanks to Those Who Have you read of the Entirety of my Insignificant problem, please do not feel burdened if corresponds to this concept Makes you uncomfortable as I understand.