Posts tagged Funny

Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if it Went All Of Them Would Be Hell. How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer? None. It Should Be open by the time she bring it. Why is a Launderette a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman Who Can not Even AFFORD a washing machine Will Probably Never Be Able to keep you in the Manner Which you’ve Become accustomed to. How can you tell When your wife really IS Aroused in bed? She puts down Her nail file. Why do Women Have smaller feet Than Men? It’s one of those “evolutionary things” That allow Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. How do you Know When a Woman is about to Say Something really clever? When she starts Her sentence with “A Man Told Me oz..” How do you repair a woman’s watch? You Do not Need to. There Is a clock on the oven. Why do men fart more Than Women? Because women can not shut up long Enough to build up the required pressure. If your dog IS barking at the back door and your wife IS shouting Through the letter box, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He’ll shut up you Let Him in ounces. What’s Worse Than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A Woman Who Will not Do What She’s Told. I married Miss Right. I just Did not Know Her first name WAS Always. Have Scientists discovered a Food That Diminish a woman’s sex drive by 95%. It’s called a Wedding Cake. Why do men die Before Their wives? Because They Want to. In the Beginning, God created the earth and Rested. Then God created Man and Rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, Neither God nor Man HAS Rested.